Charles McQuillan right before he went under the knife.

Charles McQuillan’s camera is as close to him as his own heart. So when the photographer discovered he would have to undergo dangerous heart surgery, McQuillan only did what came natural … he brought his camera along.

In a series of award-winning pictures, the 41 year-old photographer documented his own heart surgery — from the moment he left his two young boys at home in Northern Ireland, to being prepped on the operating table at a Belfast hospital and witnessing his own body being cut open.

Diagnosed with coronary artery disease in 2009, McQuillan underwent a coronary angiography, which required he be awake during the surgery so doctors could tell him to take deep breaths, raise his arm, etc. But instead of checking out with a heavy dose of morphine, McQuillan decided to take pictures throughout the operation.

“For me, taking these pictures is a way of dealing with it – my own forms of catharsis,” McQuillan said.

The images were captured by three cameras set up around the operating room. McQuillan then kept a remote control in his hand and pressed it when the moment was right. The resulting photographs, which beautifully contrast the cold sterility of the hospital and medical staff with McQuillan’s own emotions and fear, won him the BT Northern Ireland Press Photographer of the Year award.

Check out some of McQuillan’s amazing photographs below. To see more, head to The Daily Mail.

McQuillan’s exhausted wife, Sara, texts family to let them know the operation went well.

McQuillan’s two sons, Cal and Sean, hug each other as their father heads to the hospital.